Lots of Changes

It has been 4 months to the day since James' accident.

James and Tess

There have been changes for all of us since then. I know James has feelings of guilt over some of the challenges his family has faced; but those are horribly misplaced feelings. Life will always throw changes and challenges our way. How we deal with them individually is on us. I doubt I'll ever be able to convince him of that. But I won't stop trying. Each of us has been effected in some way due to the accident; and each of us have our own life changes to deal with.  

Exactly 4 months after the accident. Looking a bit purple and gnarly but damn awesome!

Shannon moved to Palm Desert while James was still in the hospital. Leaving tore her up. Getting settled took some adjustment, planning and patience. Things are more steady and secure now. She is living in a high-end gated community with a very nice couple, a fun-loving dog named Kona and a mean cat. Her space is a lovely, very livable and affordable casita. She is also spending lots of time with Aunt Jody and Grandma and Grandpa; which everyone is enjoying tremendously (especially me!).  

Shannon's Casita

She moved to the desert to start a satellite Foursquare church as the children's pastor. Going from the large, active, vibrant, deeply faith-filled community in Puyallup, that defined her faith and social life, to a struggling start up ministry has been difficult. Her faith took her there and her faith is supporting her day to day. I marvel and admire that about her. Until Desert Foursquare grows to the point of supporting her as a full time employee she has to have a part time job to help pay the bills. Her current part time job is less than satisfying - but a necessary evil. 

Shannon giving praise at the first Desert Foursquare service

I miss her a lot. Sort of silly because we didn't see that much of each other. I feel rather guilty about that actually. I was always too busy to make it down her way. I deeply regret that now. I quit a life-sucking job so I would have time to do more with my family and not regret even more absent years. Then along came this wonderful opportunity for her. I am thrilled for her and there is an important lesson in all this for me. One which I am trying hard to learn and make changes from.

This is what Christmas Caroling looks like in the desert :)

After James' accident Daniel became the family support man. If one of us needed to be somewhere but couldn't, Daniel took care of it. From errands for grandparents, shopping for me to physically packing Shannon's truck and moving all her junk to our garage - he did it (those are but 3 examples of the thousands of indispensable things he did, and continues to do, for us). 

Danman Extraordinaire

He was going to start taking classes at Green River Community College to get his AA degree but he really didn't want to. I knew that and I thought not going for an AA was a better idea. I thought finding an area of study that interests him (and can generate a lifelong income) was a better choice. With my blessing, he said he would look into local community colleges and technical colleges to find just that. He is currently signed up for video classes at Bellevue College; space allowing he will begin spring quarter. In the meantime, he is playing landlord to Shannon's condo and thoroughly enjoying his escapes to Snoqualmie as a snow bum.

Daniel is taking the pic on the ride to the top of the mountain

Papa is worried about money. Consequently mom is worried about money. Papa has been more papa than usual. I suspect that doesn't make sense to most people but since I am the only one reading this :) that is OK, I know what I'm trying to say. And that is all that needs to be said about him.

This photo represents soooooo much that was right, wrong, better and worrisome :/

And me...well I'm trying hard to navigate out of the self-created mosh pit of brain fog I created for myself. It was a huge leap in the right direction to finally finish the flash drive of marthk files and deliver them to Jim and Andrea. Accompaning the flash drive was a nice note featuring a sincere and heartfelt apology and a 'call me if you need to hire me for anything'. Haha like that is gonna happen after the way I've been these last few months; but a girls gotta try what a girls gotta try-right? Next step is to create order in the 4th bedroom. There is no moving forward without that. And I suspect the next step after that is to find some paid employment. I don't want to do that. Oh, I so don't want to do that. But if I must, of course I will. But did I mention I won't want to?