Keeping Connected

I miss connecting with Shannon. She is uber-busy. I am running 3-ways to Sunday with a bad phone and poor reception (grrrrrrr).

Is it time to start blogging again? If I keep it up to date with stories and pictures of happenings in the northwest she can read all the news when she has time!

Everyday I see something, hear something or think of something I want to share with her. Here are a few beach pictures to get this rolling:

Boys fireworks display on the 4th of July.

James and Ben built a new fire pit bench - amazingly awesome!

Tess etched a crab and July '11 into the boys bench (at their request) and it is really cool looking.

New temporary flag pole (because the flag is attached with zip ties - not very user friendly for putting it up and down!). I have a video of Pat putting it up and Ben watching. Toooooo funny. Will have to post!

James moving the floating dock to its place south of the big cabin.
Lenny and I helped. I know we were pretty funny looking. Too bad Dakota didn't take pictures :)

Dakota and Lenny greet Grandpa and James as they return from Lowe's with John's plywood supply.

Papa is almost done! A weekend project has turned into a 3-weekend project with much more extensive damage than expected...and termites. Ewwwwww!!

Daniel and Alex loading up the truck for a dump run. They worked like dogs that weekend.

Right before going home Alex jumped in the sound. Brrrrrrrrrrr :) but refreshing!

New fridge (on the left) and new range (on the right)...and they match. Hahahahaha!

Busy week

I must stay focused. Busy week with lots going on and I'm looking forward to every day. Monday Bud. Tuesday Margie. Wednesday Glenna. Thursday haircut. Friday Salish Lodge (complete with candlelight dinners, country breakfast and massages). Somewhere in there I have to take more walks and work on Shannon's condo.

And to think this time last year I was suffering daily panic attacks as the auction drew near and my plate overflowed with tasks and worry. Ahhhh, to be where I am today is a glorious gift.

As an interesting aside...the old boss called the other day. Apparently his auction chairperson just quit. Today is her last day. It is a repeat performance of last year. Had I stayed I would be living through that hellish world of overwhelming panic once again.

I repeat...ahhhh, to be where I am today is a glorious gift!

Kathleen, where have you been?

It has been 21 days since my last posting. Let me rephrase that. It has been 21 days since my last posting on Blogger.

I have been experimenting with a blog at Word Press. I like some things better at Word Press; such as posting photos and the links bar. I like some things better at Blogger; such as the clean presentation and a picture of Fragaria as my background. I have not decided where to land for good but I am far behind on chronicling the past two weeks so I decided to come to a place that I can get caught up quickly without a learning curve slowing me down.

This post will be poorly supported with "real" pictures because this absent-minded shutterbug kept forgetting to grab the camera at the apropos moment. That completely annoys me.

Me annoyed at me.

Since my last posting...
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I had my blood drawn.

It had been 3 months since my last blood draw that was...ahem, less than wonderful. My doctor was pleased with the direction my triglycerides are heading (that direction would be down, down, down). She says I need to focus on a lot more walking and a bit less fat and white (white flour, white sugar, white bread, etc.). Vitamin D and B12 were about the same so she ordered another round of mega-dosing. I get to go back and get the blood sucked out of me again in 3 months. I can live with that. That is after all the point of this, to live :)

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I might move to Vermont.

Not very likely-but hey, you never know! I entered a contest to win a snow chalet in Vermont. Why you ask? Because John saw it on TV and thought it would be perfect for us. Really? The prize package does come with a 2011 Denali and $500K - now those 2 prizes I can get excited about. The winner will be announced March 19 so if you don't hear from me after that date, look me up in Vermont!



Could this be my new home? Tune in after March 19 to find out.

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Glenna and I went to the beach.

Brrrrrrrrr Thu, Feb 10 was a cold but beautiful day. We took the 4-Runner just in case the road was too mushy but it was in very good shape all the way to the turn-around. Don had obviously done some grading and raking on our lower road. On the upper and lower road trees have come down and there were signs of a couple of slides. No big surprise with the windy and wet winter we have had. Everything has been neatly cleared off to the side making the road easy to traverse. Thank you GTRA-nice job!


I may have forgotten to get pictures of our beach trip
but Google Earth is looking out for us...or checking in on us :)

Rodent infestation was a bit of a problem in and around the little cabin. Mole hills surround the place in massive numbers. Pat ex-laxed and gummed them (you'll have to ask him). I suspect the moles were heartily chuckling as they popped their little heads up out of their holes to wave goodbye to him as he drove up the hill and out of sight.

I was first into the cabin. As I stepped into the living room something heavier than a mouse (or maybe it was a very fat mouse?) scurried into the corner by the phone. Throughout our stay we heard intermittent rustling under the futon and behind the fireplace but a few stomps of the feet immediately silenced the 4-legged creature. The crooks of all cushions in the living room were neatly chewed and in the place of the missing stuffing we found rodent droppings. Lots of little piles of rodent droppings.

There was a hole in the ceiling directly above the step into the bedroom. It took us a few moments to realize a rat had gnawed the hole-a rat or two ewwwww! We covered it with screening material and duct tape. The screening is a bit too fine but it was all we could find. At best we slowed the suckers down a bit. The running back and forth across the kitchen and living room ceiling started to get a bit unnerving; especially as we sat at the table eating lunch. Was it outside on the roof or inside the rafters? When the running, scurrying and scratching moved into the interior walls we figured it was safe to assume the rodent making all the noise was not outside. Did I mention ewwwwww? All our poison trays were empty so we refilled them using what poison we could find. Die rodents, die. Mwaahaahaa (that was a cruel and heartless laugh). As soon as we've tackled the rodent problem I'll be a bit less evil. Promise.


Yes this big old roof rat resembles Digger and Dozer and I have a small twinge of guilt over wanting evil things to happen to him...and if he wants to live peacefully in a cage we can forge a truce.
Until then, it's war.

Water, water, water. The bane of our beach existence. Let's take a moment to explore what Google Answer has to say about that phrase. "To say that something or someone is 'the bane of my existence' means that the person or thing is a constant irritant or source of misery."

Boy does Google know what they are talking about! No water to drink, wash or cook with is a constant source of misery. The inability to drill a new well is salt in the wound. But looking on the bright side, the current well supplies enough poopy water to flush toilets and put out campfires. We all cherish those two most excellent and convenient activities so you can imagine our concern when the toilet wouldn't flush. A bit of detective work fixed the problem and once again the sleuthing super sisters shunned disaster.

About the time we were feeling rather proud of ourselves we discovered a pipe under Aunt Dorothy's sink was leaking and water had covered the floor all the way to the bedroom. Most of it had evaporated or leaked through the floorboards. There wasn't anything we could do but shut off the valve leading from the pump to Aunt Dorothy's. It will be an urgent plumbing project for the spring and there is no way this job will be pretty when it gets tackled. Plumbing ugg. Plumbing at the beach double ugg.

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Glenna and I were taking Margie to lunch just 'cuz.

Unfortunately, Glenna had to cancel at the last minute; Randy ended up at Highline hospital again so she had her hands full for the day.

Margie still needed a get-away and I still needed to eat lunch so I picked her up at Pacific Regent (Bud's rehab facility) Fri, Feb 11. In the spirit of full disclosure if eating and a restaurant are involved you can always count me in :)

Margie decided to turn the tables and treat me using a gift card she had to Seastar Restaurant and Raw Bar in Bellevue. Oh my goodness the food was deliciously fresh and decadently rich. I most certainly used up my allotted calories for the next few days in that one scrumptious meal; totally worth it.

After lunch we visited Bud. It was easy to see that Margie enjoyed the day. Simple successes are so satisfying.


Seastar restaurant in Bellevue

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Bud finally gets to call Aiges of Bellevue home!

Thursday, February 17 at 1:00 p.m. Margie calls and asks if I'm available to help move Bud...he's being discharged from Pacific Regent at 2:00 p.m. She was so ecstatic about Bud moving to his Aiges apartment that she didn't care she only had an hours notice. The move went smoothly; absolutely no bumps. For Bud and Margie that was such a pleasant change from the last couple of weeks.

Margie brought along Bud's new cell phone. He went through his phone book to locate people he wanted to add to his contact list and I loaded them in. After a couple hours of getting the apartment ship-shape the three of us went to the dining room for another delicious Aiges meal.

As Margie and I prepared to leave I know Bud felt some anxiousness at being alone in an unfamiliar place with unknown aides. What if he hits his call button and no one comes? What if no one wheels him to breakfast in the morning? What if...I suspect the list of 'what if's' went on. Being confined to a wheelchair without the strength to get in and out on your own must be humbling, aggravating and a bit scary. He had achieved a comfort level at Pacific Regent; he knew his routines, what to expect out of each day and the names and faces of his caregivers. Even less than desirable routines or less than helpful aides probably seemed better than the unknown of Aiges. I had total confidence his anxiousness would quickly disappear!


Bud in his new apartment at Aiges. I am putting contacts into his new cell phone.



Bud and Margie at the end of moving day.
Bud wears the call necklace at all times and his aid responds within minutes. Sweet. 

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I went assisted-living shopping with Glenna in Redmond.

Randy will be discharged from Cascade Vista soon and she needs to have a place lined up as his forever home. She needs to find a place that he can learn to love, fits his needs today, tomorrow and at the end. That is a tall order made even more difficult by Randy's unique needs. I was thrilled she asked me to accompany her on this challenging mission on Fri, Feb 18 and honored that my opinion and vision might help her. Plus we got to spend the whole day together and nothing is better than that!

Both places we went to were great but I must admit to leaning toward Aiges of Redmond as being the best fit...at least from what I remember of Randy and what  I hear about him today. I wonder what she and David will decide? Whatever they choose it will have been done carefully, with extreme forethought and blanketed in love. Randy is one lucky man to have my sister in his life!

Model bedroom in a one bedroom unit.

Of course I didn't remember to take a picture of my sister in the model unit. But here is a sample of the living area in the one bedroom. The whole unit was clean, comfortable and should be roomy enough.

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It is an established fact that a house of cards will always come crashing down.

Case in point, Margie. She has spent months care-taking Bud while he has been shuffled back and forth between Overlake Hospital and Pacific Regent rehab facility. I think the last time he was in his home was early November 2010. Accompanying this stressful time is the inevitable mountain of paperwork, phone calls and bills. Adding to the stress is the fact that Margie has her own health issues and is without any family in the area to assist her. Margie might have been able to balance all the cards dealt to her these last few months if she had taken the time to eat right, drink plenty of fluids, take her medicine and get plenty of rest. But as is the way of most care-takers she did none of that. Consequently, the day after she knew Bud was settled and well cared for everything came crashing down and she collapsed. A friend came to be with her but after a few hours it was apparent to both of them that Margie was dangerously ill and they called 911.

The diagnosis was severe gastroenteritis with life-threatening dehydration and electrolyte imbalance. She spent 2 nights in the hospital getting hydrated and her system back in balance. I took her home Monday the 21st and stayed the night. She did need the extra hands; I'm glad I stayed. She was genuinely grateful for the company and I was truly pleased to provide the helping hands.

Fast forward to today...I've been to visit a couple of times and I've also checked in on Bud because without Margie he doesn't have any visitors. Each day someone needs to check on Margie and help her with everyday tasks. She has a physical therapist and a nurse coming in to help her as well as an extra housekeeper (her regular housekeeper has been sick and/or unavailable-don't get me started on that situation).

Bud is doing well, Margie not so much so. John and I went to see her Saturday on our way to the Home Show. Even as captivating a conversationalist as I am, I figured a new face would be a welcome treat :) As it turned out John and Margie had such a good time chatting while I did laundry and a few other tasks that we never made it to the Home Show (which worked out okay for me since I didn't really want to go and he took me to the Whistle Stop Ale and Grill-our favorite burger joint-on the way home).

I take Margie to her regular doctor Tuesday morning. I'm hoping he has a plan to bring about a more speedy recovery. She is still unable to eat more than two bites of soft food without tremendous intestinal pain and she has little to no strength; of course who would when you haven't eaten diddly squat in over a week?

Tomorrow I'm visiting Bud and taking him a tray table Margie ordered for him and some other odds and ends she asked me to deliver.

Note to self: be good to your body; it sucks when it fails you so young. Note to self addendum: align your legal, medical and structural world before it needs to be aligned.

Bud and Margie's less than user friendly house tucked in the woods on top of a steep driveway.
But the view is breathtaking and it's been home for 30+ years. Hard decisions.
PS-thank you Google Earth for providing pics for this post.

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Last but not least...

James is on home PT for about a month. We see his surgeon in a couple of weeks at which time we will find out if there is more surgery in his immediate future or if PT is all he needs to get as far as possible - and maybe we'll get a guesstimate of how far possible is. That would be nice. Very nice indeed.

We have been trying to get Shannon's condo ready to rent. Big job. I'll save the details for another post.

Property Manager Daniel

Daniel is acting as the Property Manager for Shannon's condo. It's a big job. He has to respond to any legitimate need the renter has as well as sift through the requests to determine what is legitimate and what is simply whining. He has to collect the rent on time, pay the mortgage and home owner dues on time. He has to keep the place rented and do all the work that needs to be done between renters. All of this is being done for very little moola (I plan to talk to his boss about a just and fair raise).

Not Shannon's actual unit.
Her layout is reversed with a fence around the entry; but otherwise looks the same.

He is currently between renters and is learning the challenges this entails. He saw the place just before the outgoing renters left and said it looked to be in very good shape. He made an appointment to show it to a prospective renter after the place was empty but before he got a chance to see it empty...he'll never do that again. He lost what could have been a great fit for a renter because the place looked horrid in the light of day with all the furniture and decorations gone. The walls were beat up, the rug had multiple stains, the blinds were broken, the kitchen looked dirty and old and the bathroom was disgustingly gross.

So far he has scraped clean the old bathroom caulking and scrubbed off the built up mold, hung new blinds and made a to-do list before he shows it to another prospective renter. He is learning the balancing act of making it inviting while spending the bare minimum to do so. He knows he needs to do a complete paint job, hang a curtain in front of the water heater closet, repair the front door, replace stove parts and clean the carpet (or possibly replace if the stains are permanent).

Maybe he'll make his millions as the family's next real estate mogul :)

Moving Bud to Aegis...sort of

Bud is moving into Apt. 202 at Aegis Assisted Living facility in Bellevue. Margie asked if I could pick up a few things Bud might need in his new studio apartment and help her get the place setup so it would be a welcoming home when he moved in on Friday. It was fun putting together an 'office basket' a 'kitchen basket' and a 'bathroom basket' for her and Bud. I was pretty clueless as to what they would need or what they had so I made sure to include a little of this, a little of than and a little of everything :)


Room 202 - Bud's new home at Aiges

When Margie and I began moving all of our loot into the apartment Nurse Ernie came to visit (Ernie will be Bud's nurse, cheerleader and life coach from what I can see - he is magnificent - Bud needs him). Ernie told Margie Bud has C. diff. and it is highly contagious so he can't move into his new apartment until it is cleared up.

What the heck is C. diff? I did a ton of reading on this disease as soon as I got home because Margie was receiving conflicting information from Bud's current rehab facility Pacific Regent and his soon-to-be new home Aiges. Aiges View: the personnel said this disease was highly contagious and would last 5-14 days and require quarantine of the patient with full glove, gown and mask precautions when anyone enters his room. Pacific Regent View: on the other hand, the personnel here were non-pulsed about it, no additional health precautions were being implemented and Bud was even being wheeled around to take pictures with staff before he left.

So I ask again, what the heck is C. diff?

According to the Mayo Clinic website: "C. diff (Clostridium difficile) is a bacterium that can cause symptoms ranging from diarrhea to life-threatening inflammation of the colon. Illness from C. difficile most commonly affects older adults in hospitals or in long term care facilities and typically occurs after use of antibiotic medications." Bud had been in and out of hospitals and rehab clinics for over 2 months and on numerous antibiotics due to various infections. It sounds like he was an accident just waiting to be found by C. diff. :(

Poor Margie. This was really over the top news. She put on her happy face and did all she could to take it in stride but I could see it was definitely a low blow. The move was an anticipated high spot in her overburdened world and the thought of paying for two places out-of-pocket crushed her spirits. World, it's not nice to kick a lady when she's down-didn't your mother teach you anything?

With the belief that Bud will be there as soon as possible we continued setting up the apartment. I must say, the whole place is easy to fall in love with. The personnel everywhere had a smile for us, a kind word and helpful hands if we needed them. The exterior of the building is beautiful, the grounds are well kept and I suspect will blossom into their real glory come spring. The interior is clean, inviting and quite lovely; colors are soothing yet attractive and aroma therapy brings a variety of inviting scents throughout the building. This isn't the cover-up spray you can find in a lot of facilities it is actually aroma therapy. Each area has a sign posted telling the reader about the aroma and the benefits.

Bud's hallway; computer lab is located at the end of the hall

I told Margie she should move in until Bud is ready to be transferred. It would be like going away to a hotel; a mini-vacation if you will. She would be located very close to where Bud is now. There would be no cooking because 3 absolutely delicious menus are prepared each day in the restaurant. She wouldn't have cleaning or laundry to do. And there are plenty of friendly residents to keep you company. In our short time there we met Dorothy who sports a gentle smile, soft voice and was an interesting conversationalist. She is a widow of Irish heritage with 3 daughters (Kathleen, Colleen and Dianne) and a son (James Scott). Her baby, Dianne, didn't get a good Irish name because Dorothy's dad teased her terribly throughout the whole pregnancy about her naming propensity; according to Dorothy it turned out just right because her youngest child Dianne beats to her own drummer :) See what I mean about friendly residents?

Bud's studio apartment is perfect. The kitchenette is surprisingly generous and even includes a table that will easily accommodate Bud and his wheel chair. There isn't an oven or stove as they want the residents to take their meals in the restaurant. There is a microwave for snacks or those times you just don't feel like more than a bowl of soup.

Margie finding a home for a little bit of this, that and everything.

The living space is ample enough for lots of company; something Margie is hoping Bud will have plenty of. John and the boys will bring his chair here (haha, they don't know that yet) and that will help Bud stay out of bed for more of the day. That is a good thing and absolutely necessary if he is to attain his goal of partial mobility. The furnished unit usually comes complete with a double or queen bed but because Margie rented a single sized hospital bed there is enough floor space left to engage in some wheel chair dancing :) Better watch out Margie, I saw a lot more ladies around than men!

I'm standing just inside the front entry with the kitchen on my right and the bathroom on my left.

I'm standing by the window (in the pic above).

On his floor is a comfortable, well stocked library complete with a roaring fire (gas insert of course), a computer lounge, laundry facilities, hair salon and private dining room for when they have us all over for dinner. Speaking of dinner...Margie and I were treated to a complimentary lunch in the restaurant (aka general dining room for residents and their visitors). The meal was spectacular. Seriously. It was top-notch restaurant worthy. They offer a daily special at each meal as well as a regular menu to order from. My spinach and blue cheese salad was so delicious I did not leave a crumb of anything uneaten; Ernie wanted to know if I would like to lick the plate :) Margie declared her chicken salad sandwich perfect and said she is a chicken salad connoisseur so that was high praise.

Library. A guest speaker is just around the corner out of sight. They regularly have guest speakers on a variety of topics.

Everything is in its place and Margie is taking a last look around before we leave.

Note: As of today (Saturday) Margie is doing much better. She says, "It is what it is and no amount of worry or fretting will change things." She calls herself Pollyanna; I think that is a good mindset when life is at its most challenging. The plan at the moment is for the doctor to re-test Bud towards the end of the week. He is on the proper antibiotic for C. diff so once he receives a clear test he has to wait 72 hours before moving into Aiges. Everyone anticipates the test will come up clear as his case is so mild. The hope is he'll be able to move to Aiges toward the beginning of the following week. Prayers, karma, magical spells or positive potions are wanted for a swift recovery and a happy move.

Lunch mmmmmmm good

Lunch with my big sis today. Mmmmmmm good refers to the delicious chicken cranberry salad I had and the great company. After 4 hours of non-stop talking we put a dent in our list of topics to cover.

My bad. My very bad. No pictures of the day :(

Da Beach and food. Not related just relevant.

To da beach, to da beach, to da beach we go...oh wait, that's James and Tess. Boo hoo. Not me. Glenna and I are trying to schedule a day to check on the beach and do some fireplace shopping but life continues to get in the way. James, Tess and Tess' dog Dylan took off about 10 this morning to visit the beach and make sure all is OK.

Tess and Dylan came to pick up James. James took Lenny and I took Dakota out on leashes to meet Dylan. After a bit of growling and posturing Lenny and Dylan looked like they would love to get off-leash and romp together. Dakota did excellent for him but as expected, not as friendly as Lenny. If I was holding Dakota he stayed in the vicinity but barked. When James tried taking Dakota next to Dylan he simply wanted to get to me as fast as his short little stocky legs could carry him. No surprise.

Dakota barked and barked and barked and barked, "That's my Lenny, leave him alone, he's my friend not yours, you can't have him. Lenny stop being nice. Lenny pay attention to me. Lenny I'm getting sort of scared and nervous. Lenny come inside with me. See Dylan, Lenny is mine not yours; we're inside and you're not. Ha"

At least that's what it sounded like he was saying to me :)

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John wanted to know if I was practicing to be the next Iron Chef with all my cooking and reading cooking blogs. Hmmmmm not seeing that as my goal but it sounds better than just trying to have a purpose in this family - a purpose that I'm not very good at so I'm trying hard to improve my skills. Ya, think I'll go with the Iron Chef theory. Much more interesting.
 

It looks good....but that's about it.

Last night's dinner of Broccoli Beef was a total disappointment. I opened the bag of broccoli and it was bad. I was genuinely surprised...but when I remembered I bought it at Fred Meyer my surprise disappeared. I bought it unwillingly as I no longer buy anything from the produce or butcher sections of FM. I was there to pick up my medicine (have to move those to another store) and only needed broccoli; nothing else. I thought, "how bad could it be?" I should of known better when I went to the produce section and there was no fresh broccoli to be found. They had a sign saying sorry for the poorly stocked produce shelves but inclement weather was effecting their deliveries. I bought a bag of pre-cut and pre-cleaned broccoli knowing I shouldn't but being too lazy to make another choice.

Luckily I had fresh crisp snow peas (from Safeway) that would be a good substitute for the bad broccoli. As a matter of fact, they were the only good thing about the meal because they weren't marinated with the beef mixture. I'm not sure which flavor or combo of flavors was unpleasant but they certainly ruined a perfectly good flank steak.

Although in fairness to the recipe the meat marinated about 3 extra hours due to phone calls I had to take. Also, the cornstarch in the recipe made the marinade too thick to even stir - not wanting any more sodium in the marinade I added a splash of red wine and then some additional water when the wine wasn't enough.Because the reviews were so good I might try this recipe one more time following the steps exactly but I find it hard to believe my minimal changes could have made that much of a difference so I might not.

The one thing I am enjoying about all this cooking and experimenting is the confidence I am gaining in my cooking - no, make that in my decision making. I have never been a recipe follower preferring to create from scratch or from what's on hand or from what I'm in the mood for. That can be an expensive way to cook as you end up at the store daily.  These days I need to start with a menu plan and recipes so that I can control costs and save on the grocery bill as well as the dining out bill. I find I still can't leave a recipe alone. I have to tweak it to my tastes. I use what's on hand and for the most part the end result is the better for it. That's fun and satisfying. I pencil notes on my recipes when I make changes and I also give them a rating after the family has weighed in on the tastiness - or lack thereof. This makes it easy to recreate the good ones and never again cook the blechy ones :)

This week in review in rambling form

Well color me wrong-sort of.

I did hear from my flash drive peeps on Wednesday. They wanted to know if I would input the freshman class into the database within a week and how much I would charge. I said I would love to take on that job but it would take 60-80 hours (closer to 2 weeks) at my usual $20/hour rate. I haven't heard back since my reply-that's the 'sort of' part :)

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Steve made time in his travels to Seattle to come have dinner with us last night. I know he was tired, jet lagged and on top of it he was recovering from a respiratory infection. Ugggg, not feeling spiffy at all. We really enjoyed the visit with Uncle Cheese and appreciate the effort he made to see us. Daniel coined that nickname when we were back in Chicago for a wedding (I think it was Joe and Colleen). When he tried to say Steve it came out Cheese. Now everyone uses it.

Sort of like Uncle Socks. Barry nicknamed daddy Uncle Socks because when daddy would visit the Galvin's in CA or Hawaii he always wore socks to keep the top of his feet from burning. That name has stuck too.


This is of course not daddy - but Uncle David wearing Daddy's BD apron for carving the turkey on Christmas Eve.

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Glenna and I were going to the beach today to make sure all the rain and wind haven't pushed the cabins into the sound and to visit a few fireplace stores to do some window shopping-or buying if the deal was right.



Aunt Dorothy's cabin and the little cabin with Anna standing in front

Unfortunately, Randy took a bad fall the other day and broke his back. He was scheduled for surgery this morning and Glenna needed to be there for him when he woke up. She is an amazing, unconditional caretaker. I hope Randy knows that-he probably does.The surgery was to put a screw through the C1 and C2 vertebrae to stabilize them and bring him some relief from the unending pain. I have sent a couple of texts to her but I know she is too busy to reply. That's OK. Just hoping all went well.
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Getting grandma and grandpa home from CA...oh my, what a quandary I am in.



Mom in Palm Desert 2009

Daddy in Palm Desert 2010

James wants him and Tess to do this. John wants him and Tess to do this. I want to do this. Why? Not sure for sure, but have some ideas. It feels good to do something that contributes to the greater needs of the family...I really did honestly and truly enjoy the 2 days in the car with papa-it was one of the most relaxing, enjoyable, peaceful times I've had in 4 months...I think daddy will really be uncomfortable with them doing that and mom will really be uncomfortable with this unmarried couple spending nights together...and I know there is more to this but I'm not really sure what it is. I'll have to try to figure it out in another post. Adding to my quandary is Rich Marth day is scheduled for the weekend following the drive home from CA and that sort of time away from the office is tough on papa. That alone should make me figure out another way to get the zoom zoom home. So again, what more is there to my desire to do this?
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Hard to let go

Have you ever noticed how it is hard to let go of things; even things that aren't good for you? It could be anything from an outfit that doesn't make you look your best but you love how it feels, to a favorite beer that tastes the best a bit too often or even a recurring thought.

For example, why have I not heard back from my peoples about the flash drive? I'll try not to think about it today - to just let it go. And I won't check my email 17 times before noon - like I did yesterday.

The phrase below just cracks me up. It is sooooo what my workplace was like. Which brings me back to wondering why I care if I hear from my peeps? I guess I'm a gluten for punishment...or eager to ease the strain on finances?

Lots of Changes

It has been 4 months to the day since James' accident.

James and Tess

There have been changes for all of us since then. I know James has feelings of guilt over some of the challenges his family has faced; but those are horribly misplaced feelings. Life will always throw changes and challenges our way. How we deal with them individually is on us. I doubt I'll ever be able to convince him of that. But I won't stop trying. Each of us has been effected in some way due to the accident; and each of us have our own life changes to deal with.  

Exactly 4 months after the accident. Looking a bit purple and gnarly but damn awesome!

Shannon moved to Palm Desert while James was still in the hospital. Leaving tore her up. Getting settled took some adjustment, planning and patience. Things are more steady and secure now. She is living in a high-end gated community with a very nice couple, a fun-loving dog named Kona and a mean cat. Her space is a lovely, very livable and affordable casita. She is also spending lots of time with Aunt Jody and Grandma and Grandpa; which everyone is enjoying tremendously (especially me!).  

Shannon's Casita

She moved to the desert to start a satellite Foursquare church as the children's pastor. Going from the large, active, vibrant, deeply faith-filled community in Puyallup, that defined her faith and social life, to a struggling start up ministry has been difficult. Her faith took her there and her faith is supporting her day to day. I marvel and admire that about her. Until Desert Foursquare grows to the point of supporting her as a full time employee she has to have a part time job to help pay the bills. Her current part time job is less than satisfying - but a necessary evil. 

Shannon giving praise at the first Desert Foursquare service

I miss her a lot. Sort of silly because we didn't see that much of each other. I feel rather guilty about that actually. I was always too busy to make it down her way. I deeply regret that now. I quit a life-sucking job so I would have time to do more with my family and not regret even more absent years. Then along came this wonderful opportunity for her. I am thrilled for her and there is an important lesson in all this for me. One which I am trying hard to learn and make changes from.

This is what Christmas Caroling looks like in the desert :)

After James' accident Daniel became the family support man. If one of us needed to be somewhere but couldn't, Daniel took care of it. From errands for grandparents, shopping for me to physically packing Shannon's truck and moving all her junk to our garage - he did it (those are but 3 examples of the thousands of indispensable things he did, and continues to do, for us). 

Danman Extraordinaire

He was going to start taking classes at Green River Community College to get his AA degree but he really didn't want to. I knew that and I thought not going for an AA was a better idea. I thought finding an area of study that interests him (and can generate a lifelong income) was a better choice. With my blessing, he said he would look into local community colleges and technical colleges to find just that. He is currently signed up for video classes at Bellevue College; space allowing he will begin spring quarter. In the meantime, he is playing landlord to Shannon's condo and thoroughly enjoying his escapes to Snoqualmie as a snow bum.

Daniel is taking the pic on the ride to the top of the mountain

Papa is worried about money. Consequently mom is worried about money. Papa has been more papa than usual. I suspect that doesn't make sense to most people but since I am the only one reading this :) that is OK, I know what I'm trying to say. And that is all that needs to be said about him.

This photo represents soooooo much that was right, wrong, better and worrisome :/

And me...well I'm trying hard to navigate out of the self-created mosh pit of brain fog I created for myself. It was a huge leap in the right direction to finally finish the flash drive of marthk files and deliver them to Jim and Andrea. Accompaning the flash drive was a nice note featuring a sincere and heartfelt apology and a 'call me if you need to hire me for anything'. Haha like that is gonna happen after the way I've been these last few months; but a girls gotta try what a girls gotta try-right? Next step is to create order in the 4th bedroom. There is no moving forward without that. And I suspect the next step after that is to find some paid employment. I don't want to do that. Oh, I so don't want to do that. But if I must, of course I will. But did I mention I won't want to?

Transplanted Worry

Ever since James' accident I sort of obsess for other people I know in medical situations. Well, just 2 others so far but that is a good thing - means I don't know too many people in medical situations! It was never like this before James' accident. I had sympathy and true caring but not constant thoughts.

Margie and Bud were the first ones that were the object of my constant thoughts and worry. Now it is Dave and Terri. I'm sure Freud would have some tidbits of wisdom as to why. I just hope it fades back to normal caring levels soon.

Time for it to come to a close

Today I will finish transferring all the Kennedy files I can find to a flash drive. Tomorrow I will deliver (or mail) the drive. I believe that will complete our relationship. I am not pleased with how it is ending. I own all the reasons for my displeasure.

Could I have done something different to support a more positive outcome? Apparently not or I believe I would have. My desire was a long, good working relationship but I couldn't nurture (or even maintain) my half of the relationship. I do not fault them for being ready to wash their hands of me. They have been patient beyond measure.
Now I need to forgive myself for being unable to perform as they expected. I still do not totally understand why I became so dysfunctional for over 3 months. Maybe I never will and just need to move forward from this point.

This point has me feeling better. One hundred percent better? No but on the road to a more normal Kathleen.

Hair Result (how boring of a post is this!)

Like, yes. Love, no.

Pretty, pretty base color; great depth and warmth all at the same time. Not nearly enough highlights. Or maybe there are enough highlights but they aren't chunky like they usually are? I'm not sure which it is. But I do know that it is sort of blah without the usual bold and defined highlighted strands.

At least it's not grey :)

Hair

Today is haircut and color day. I'll post the results...if I like it.

The Birthday Girl

Margie, Glenna and I had a lovely lunch. Good food, excellent conversation and plenty of laughs as evidenced by the photographs below.

After the birthday lunch at Azteca we went back to Bud's rehab facility and visited for an hour or so. Bud was sitting up in a wheel chair and was quite the conversationalist. As our visit was coming to a close he was ready to lay down and take a nap. Margie explained he had been up and out of bed since 10:30 in the morning and that was a looooong time for him - she thought his nap might take him right through the night and into morning.

Kudos to me :) pics of the birthday bash. Shame on me :( no pics of Bud. Yes, fifty percent is better than zero percent but I was hoping for a hundred percent!

The Azteca staff arrives to wish Margie happy birthday ;)

The birthday girl is serenaded with Happy Birthday in Spanish :)

Figuring out how to take and send photos.

Surprise dessert compliments of Azteca!



Margie's BD Lunch

Tomorrow is Margie's birthday. It has been a long hard winter for her. Bud has been so sick with challenge after challenge rearing its ugly head for the two of them. Bud has been in the hospital or a rehab facility since November.

Glenna called with the idea of taking Margie to lunch and then going back to visit Bud. We've picked Azteca; it has tasty food and it's located close to Bud's rehab facility (plus they sing happy birthday to you in Spanish!). Hmmmm need to go shopping in my gift box to find a little something special for Margie and Bud.

Note to self: don't forget to take pictures of lunch and Bud and post them back here on your blog!

Fair Weather Fan

That's me. Fair weather fan. I'm not proud of it but I have come to accept it.

I am sitting here watching the Seattle Seahawks vs. Chicago Bears playoff game. I'm not enjoying it. The Seahawks look horrible. I am embarrassed for them; it's like they didn't bother to show up. It is all Bears. With 8:41 left in the 2nd quarter the Hawks trail by 21. Not fun.



I am not sitting here because I am a sports fan (nothing could be further from the truth). I am doing this mostly to "be" with hubby so he doesn't spend a whole day alone again. Yesterday he watched football all by himself in the family room while I spent the whole day at my computer in the dining room. I enjoyed my day. A lot. In all honesty I think he did too. It's not like we were really "alone" as the rooms are only 20 feet apart :)

Nice. Need to do more often!

I had a very nice visit with my sister at my house last week. We sat at the kitchen table for 6 hours (!) talking, drinking coffee, telling stories, eating pizza, solving the world problems, drinking more coffee and just generally enjoying each other's company.

Aren't we cute! This pic is from a 2010 Nov trip to Molbak's with Jocelyn and Aunt B.

We setup a game of Rummikub (a long-time favorite game of ours to play together). Each of us drew some tiles but we got distracted by our talking and when it came time for her to leave we cleaned up the game without ever having laid a tile down!

Daniel walked through the kitchen once with a quick hello and then back to his bedroom with a snack. James walked through once with a quick hello and then out the door to his dentist appointment. The dogs went in and out, in and out, in and out and then can you guess what they did? Yup, they went in and out again ;) We had lots of time just for ourselves; that is rare.

We are making a date for next week to go fireplace shopping. One of the many subjects we covered during our 6 hour conversation was getting the fireplaces and electric taken care of at the beach before mom and daddy return - if we don't put the dates in ink on our calendars time will fly by, mom and daddy will return and we will have accomplished nada. That would be a bad thing. Very bad indeed.

At first glance this looks like an inviting fire in a cozy room...look again :)

I have to remember to take pictures of our road trip to the fireplace store. I should have taken a pic of her sitting at my kitchen table. Remember Kathleen, that is what you said you wanted to do in 2011. Creating new habits is hard!

IF ONLY never seems to end

I remember a shrink describing my ex as an if only man. "If only I had a house with a garage and white picket fence I would stay home more often". So we got a house with a garage and white picket fence. He didn't stay home more often.

All of us have a bit of if only in us. It is human nature. "If only I didn't have to go to work every day I could deep clean our walk in closet". Six months after my last day at work the closet in question is still a jumble of clothes, shoes, suitcases, boxes, pictures, furniture, buckets and more. In other words, pure chaos. In my defense it is organized chaos; I can locate anything as long as I have enough time to muddle through the mess :).

The trick to battling the if only syndrome is to have a bit of just do it in you as well. That is why I have written in ink on my calendar: clean and organize closet. Oh, okay, it's not written in ink. It is actually written in Calibri 11 font on my Outlook calendar - but that phrase doesn't bring the point home like written in ink. Wouldn't you agree?

The goal is to give away every item that is not in use (time to admit those skinny jeans will never ever be worn again-by either of us) and every item that shouldn't be in use (like the 3 drundel skirts that make me look 6 inches shorter and 16 pounds wider or the horizontal stripe shirts that add visually unwanted inches to John's, ahem, midsection).

Once the multitude of unneeded and unwanted items are gone there will be plenty of room for the dresser and desk to move back in...thus leaving me a grown up bedroom rather than a storage room with wall-to-wall furniture. That makes me smile :)

Wish I had. Hope I do.

In the last few months I wish I had taken more pictures of meaningful events. Meaningful doesn't have to be life-changing. Meaningful includes the first snow fall, dogs sleeping side-by-side with 8 legs poking straight up in the air, papa on the roof taking down the Christmas lights (and not enjoying one minute of it) or a pit-stop along the way during our California road trip.

In the last few months I wish I had done more journaling. I wish I had captured my feelings of the Christmas season while they were fresh and poignant (although maybe not - as they were not particularly Christmassy feelings). I wish I had captured the nuances of navigating James' recovery; the transition for him between patient and self-caretaker; the challenge for me of going from caretaker to observer. I wish I had blogged through the early days of 'retirement'. I would like to re-read and re-feel the complete and utter relief of leaving all that heartache behind.

My life is the sum total of the choices I make. I wish I had something to show me how my life got to today besides my very poor memory :/ When 2011 comes to a close, I hope I do. Because after all, isn't that what a blog is for?

Meaningful moment: my sister loves me. My evidence? My birthday present that included (among other wonderful things) these cozy socks and that snugly Christmas blanket she made for me.

Nine days into 2011

We are nine days into the new year. I feel more clarity of purpose and worthwhileness (is that a word?) than I did nine days into October or nine days into November or heaven help me, the lowest of low points...nine days into December.

December was the month of cobwebs in the brain. I felt like their sticky tendrils had a choke hold on my ability to accomplish anything from getting up at a reasonable hour to sleeping through the night and every possible action or feeling that occurred in between. Tears were constantly waiting to spill over unless I kept my mind numb. Playing hearts on my favorite phone was an excellent escape; as were earphones plugged into the music on my favorite phone. Who knew a smart phone could be such a useful (and cost effective) mental health consultant.

Meet my best friend Mr. Droid

Why was I not coping well? Was it a delayed reaction to James' accident; supreme panic as he appeared to be spiraling into a funk and pulling away from me; overwhelming guilt over not being a contributing member to the family finances (not earning a dollar, spending a dollar too much, no idea on how to create a realistic budget that was requested); or was it menopause finally settling in for the one-two punch? Flashing was a daily occurrence as was chest pain (reminiscent of my spring panic attacks). My family needed me focused, strong and effective. So why at this stage in my life was I becoming a basket case? Maybe I'll never know. I do know I did my darnedest to fool them into believing I was a dependable, contributing member of the family unit. I would like to believe I did okay with this ruse. I suspect the truth is a wee bit different :/

I do know I am grateful for the shreds of clarity I am feeling nine days into 2011. I am pleased with the minor things I managed to accomplish this week. I am particularly fond of having more control over the water-works. I am hopeful I will continue to find my way back to a strong, focused, funny, engaging, helpful, positive person.

She is still in there somewhere. Isn't she? Yes, she is. So, here's to 2011 and clarity of mind and purpose! May the new year bring you your fondest dreams as well.