Memories

I'm thinking of the table at the beach and the many times we would sit until late in the evening (nearly crossing over into the early morning!). Priceless memories.

Respect, Love, Forgiveness: Earned or Given

"I don't think that forgiveness is earned. I think it is given. The only way this will ever end is when one of you decides to forgive the other out of generosity. When you need that more than you need to be right."

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Anne Cunningham (played by Tyne Daly) said that in the movie Undercover Christmas. On the whole, it was a typical corny made-for-television Christmas movie that had a predictable beginning, middle and end. You know the kind...the kind we all say ugggg too, but get sucked in and enjoy.

Anne was determined to repair the relationship between her FBI agent son Jake and her Judge and judgmental husband Joe. The two men had long since lost respect and even a bit of love for one another. Each man blamed the other. Neither would consider taking the first step toward forgiveness.

As only a mother can do, she delivered that line with love, frustration, anger, worry and angst...I really like Anne's take on the subject...and I think every family would benefit from adopting this healthy attitude on forgiveness.

Recently I tried to relate all of this to a group of people that are in the middle of a mess just like Jake and Joe. I did a pathetically poor job of delivery. I think the message is important. I decided to try to do it justice by putting it in print.

Life. Love. Lesson.

Last week I went with Grandpa and Grandma to the funeral of Mary Shepard. She was 99 years old. Mary was a long-time friend of theirs from the neighborhood. John recalls Mary and her husband George attending our wedding in 1985. George died a few years after that. Their only daughter Sandra was 3 years older than me. Consequently I didn't know Sandra well; but well enough to recognize and greet when our paths would cross over the years.

Mary's longtime friend Deacon Warfield gave the eulogy. It was personal, poignant and full of priceless stories. However one line jumped out at me and has stuck with me ever since. I think I will add it to the words of wisdom I hold close and try to live by.

"It is our love for one another that makes life worthwhile. Period." 

MaryBarr (left) and Mary Shepard

This photograph was taken in Grandmas backyard at Anna and Mauricio's wedding party in 2006. MaryBarr has also provided me with words of wisdom to live by. 

I sure grew up in a neighborhood full of wise people!

It's Official

My baby is all grown up.

Changing Seasons (new pics)

I updated the photos because the previous ones taken with my phone were pretty lame :} That phone is so old they don't even make cases for it anymore LoL!

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Shannon told me the thing she misses most is changing seasons.

I've long heard that people who come from climates with summer, winter, spring and fall really notice it when those distinct seasons are gone. I can see that. My favorite season is a toss up between spring and fall; not too hot, not too cold and everything undergoing change and excitement.

In honor of one of my favorite seasons here are a few snapshots from around town of fall foliage

I found MaryBarr!

And she is much better looking than a bevy of bike riders.

She was such a wise woman and dear friend to all. When I was with her she would yell, scream, cry, hug, laugh and praise...and that was just during a 60 minute piano lesson :)

She didn't waste time fretting or worrying or sweating the small stuff. She said her peace, lavished her praise, passed out her hugs, laughed from the heart, cried from the soul and moved onto the next moment life had in store for her. She was a great role model for sure; and one that taught me important things in life.

Even in death she continued to model her idea of a good life with Erma Bombeck's Life is a Journey on her remembrance card - LoL - only MaryBarr!

Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body. But rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "Woo Hoo what a ride!" 

The Journey

Texting with Shannon tonight. Writing notes to Daniel this morning. Making lunch with Tess and James this afternoon. Talking to John on his way home from golf. Connecting with my hubby and kids...priceless!

I think it is these everyday, unassuming, ongoing, never ending touch points that weave the threads of our family journey and relationships - with big WOW moments thrown in every now and then for good measure of course :) 

A dear friend used to say life was about the journey, not the destination. Thank you MaryBarr, I learned so much from you (and if I had my digital library better organized I could find a picture of you instead of motorcycle riders).

And why is it exactly that I have a picture of motorcycle riders in this post? Because It's not the destination but the journey just happens to be a Harley Davidson marketing slogan (you can consider this an educational moment - or a real stretch in my attempt to add pics to every post - LoL).

Mini Honeymoon

Papa and I spent last weekend at the beach with Lenny and Dakota. I know, mini honeymoon sounds like a silly title for this post but amidst the sweaty, dirty, long days without showers...we really have enjoyed our time together.

Now that I think about it, it's been quite a bit of time. Papa has spent 8 out of the last nine weekends working on the fishing cabin at the beach. WOW. We stayed home the weekend of his birthday - but it was so hot in town I think we were wishing we were in the cool breezes off Puget Sound (well, at least I did :)).

What was going to be a 2 or 3 weekend project took on a life of its own. Every time he made one more saw cut or pulled up one more board he would find one more thing that needed to be done. We will be out there again this coming weekend. There will probably be a week 10 too.

I can't say it is all work and no fun. Quite the contrary.

Hot cup of coffee at sunrise with your dogs at your feet and a view of the sound for miles. Doesn't get much better than that on a sunny Saturday summer morning.

We've had some excellent weekends out there by ourselves, lots and lots of time with G&G and Glenna, and more time with Jody than otherwise would be possible. Even Daniel and James have gotten into the act along with Lenny and Dakota. Sometimes papa is exhausted, burned out and wants it to be over but for the most part there is a lot of pride in mastering all the odd problems this structure throws at him - and being a cunningham-product, it is odd in every way from a builders perspective.

I do love his attitude when someone laments all the time he's put into the fishing cabin...he tells them he won't have to touch it again because when it next needs attention, he'll be an old man sitting around the fire pit enjoying his Guinness and watching the next generation work hard ;)

Spraying Tim-bor; the bug killing, beetle destroying, ant crushing insecticide.

New Tuckpointing

Shaun's brother repaired the leaking chimney at the big cabin. All 4 sides and the top are secure and drip-free. Bring on the rains. It's ready!

Unplanned Work

Repairs had to be made to the wall, threshold and door jamb of the front two rooms. Groan. Lost a full day on that unexpected project. Ended up replacing flooring that was put down new last week...but as with everything else, the more he replaces the better things look and fit.

Temporary pole gets temporary fix

Day in and day out the blustery north wind has snapped and pulled at the flag until the straps around the pole were finally loosened. John put a temporary fix in place so our flag could fly straight and proud on 9/11.

Turns out we make a pretty good team

I've really enjoyed working side-by-side on this project. Will I be glad when it is over? Yes. No, make that a double yes. Will I miss it. Yes again :) 

Labor Day 2011

tra·di·tion 

 /trəˈdɪʃən/ Show Spelled[truh-dish-uhn] noun

1. the handing down of statements, beliefs, legends, customs, information, etc., from generation to generation, especially by word of mouth or by practice: a story that has come down to us by popular tradition.

2. something that is handed down: the traditions of the Eskimos.

3. a long-established or inherited way of thinking or acting: The rebellious students wanted to break with tradition.

4. going to the beach Memorial Day, 4th of July and Labor Day: The FamDamnLy have a tradition of being together at the beach on these holiday's.

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As our family ages, moves, changes and makes new choices I think a lot of FamDamnLy traditions will change. Change is hard. Change is inevitable. Change is here to stay. I will embrace the changes I like and ignore the ones I don't...spoken like a true Horrigan, don't you think :)

We accomplished a lot over Labor Day 2011. That said...there is still more to be done. We very much need some boys to clear ivy on the hillside, split the remaining rounds, and clear behind the corner of the little cabin (only the corner is left - Glenna completely scoured the rest of the area behind the cabin - it looks amazing).

As promised, photos of our weekend at the beach...

Story telling at it's best

I have no idea what Grandpa is saying to Hailey. She's smiling, Joc is laughing. Look at him leaning in to earnestly impart some wisdom, observation or direction. We've all been Hailey...can't you just feel Grandpa doing this to you?

Grandma telling stories about when she was a little girl at the beach. Some were familiar Goat Trail, Virginia V and Uncle Sam stories. Some were less familiar recollections about her happy place and the people in it. She had a captive audience!

Grandpa telling stories about fishing, crabbing, boating, fire building, and everything beach-ee. I think he's telling Joc where to put another log :) He had a captive audience too - the photographer just zoomed in too far.

Drake and Henry were a hoot!

Grandpa never tired of their antics. They were amazingly well behaved for being so young (I'm envious). They are obviously the best of friends and adored their people.

Projects

There were lots of behind-the-scenes projects going on that I did not get pics of but here is a sampling of what we accomplished. It felt good!

John and I made a huge dent in the fishing cabin project and made a 5th dump run (okay, mostly John but as his official go-fer I'm sure I make a difference LoL!). Tyler split a bunch of wood. Jocelyn swept roofs. Glenna finished the new table (new as in an old table rejuvinated) and raked, swept, pulled and cut lots of vegitation and debris. Grandma, Granpa and Jody managed a multitude of missions - the most important of which was being chief cook and bottle washers :) 

After John and I fell through the porch (ouch!) it was time for it to go.

He likes to tell me to put the camera down and get back to work (he thinks he's being funny :)). I tell him my peeps need the pics (I can be funny too).

Building the frame for the new porch.

YES (says John)! The frame fits and Granpa approves.

Grandma putting a final coat of verathane on the new porch.

Grandma checks out the progress inside the rooms (she is standing on temporary boards while the new floor dries).

Voila! Ready for paint.

Knotty wood and a dull axe make for hard work.

All work and no play...just won't do!
There was plenty of play time, visiting and relaxing for everyone. Jocelyn, Hailey and the dogs took some great walks. Tyler took Hailey and the dogs out in the row boat - well mostly Hailey since Henry wouldn't get in the boat and Drake kept jumping back out - wish I had snapshots of that; very funny :) Everyone got some reading time in and soaked up loads of VitaminD.

Someone has been playing with candles and melted the ketchup bottle...
...and it wasn't the youngest James!

The Bowen Family (minus Henry and Drake). They loved being there. We loved having them there. Good quality time was spent together. Doesn't get much better than that!

Everyone got in on Hailey's new game of Hedbanz. It's much like the "what animal am I?" game we always played. We took turns asking questions of the group to try to figure out what the card said in our headband. The tough part was it could be anything - people, place or thing! I tell you no lie - it elicited belly laughter from all!

Lots going on here. Starting with Joc tending the fire. She was the campfire-queen all weekend (thanks Joc!). Grandma and Suzanne had many get-togethers to discuss beach memories for the book Suzanne is writing...and of course share gardening secrets and schemes. Don, Flint and Rod came over to visit with Grandpa, Tyler and John for a long time and talk shop. The photographer got busy preparing dinner and didn't capture a picture of all the guys together - oops!

Kids and dogs love to play along this long narrow stretch between the houses. Grandpa loved sitting in poor Martin's chair. He was protected from the wind so he could stay toasty while watching all the goings-on between cat naps (even as hot as it was he had a hard time staying warm) .

Hailey is carrying on the time-honored tradition of every kid at the beach and playing with kelp; this guy was humungous!

Three mom's. Three generations. Lots of love.

Showing us Jocelyn's present.

Quiet Time :)

Shannon might have to arm wrestle for hammock time...HRB looks right at home there!

The many faces of Grandpa BBQ'ing...

Celebrating Hailey's 8th Birthday

Do you know how much fun it is to have a kid out at the beach? TONS. It is what makes the beach so important to us - the passing from generation to generation a place where real family memories are made; where connecting with family happens effortlessly; where traditions are born.

We celebrated with ice cream cake (have to keep up some traditions!), song and presents.

The birthday girl gets the first slice!

We played this game the next afternoon. She's good. Very good. Let's just say Glenna and I need to work on our last word skills - who ever would have thought that possible :)

And that about covers Labor Day 2011. I'm looking forwar to 2012 and whatever is in store for all of us!

PS - Driftwood update: it's still there :)