This week in review in rambling form

Well color me wrong-sort of.

I did hear from my flash drive peeps on Wednesday. They wanted to know if I would input the freshman class into the database within a week and how much I would charge. I said I would love to take on that job but it would take 60-80 hours (closer to 2 weeks) at my usual $20/hour rate. I haven't heard back since my reply-that's the 'sort of' part :)

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Steve made time in his travels to Seattle to come have dinner with us last night. I know he was tired, jet lagged and on top of it he was recovering from a respiratory infection. Ugggg, not feeling spiffy at all. We really enjoyed the visit with Uncle Cheese and appreciate the effort he made to see us. Daniel coined that nickname when we were back in Chicago for a wedding (I think it was Joe and Colleen). When he tried to say Steve it came out Cheese. Now everyone uses it.

Sort of like Uncle Socks. Barry nicknamed daddy Uncle Socks because when daddy would visit the Galvin's in CA or Hawaii he always wore socks to keep the top of his feet from burning. That name has stuck too.


This is of course not daddy - but Uncle David wearing Daddy's BD apron for carving the turkey on Christmas Eve.

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Glenna and I were going to the beach today to make sure all the rain and wind haven't pushed the cabins into the sound and to visit a few fireplace stores to do some window shopping-or buying if the deal was right.



Aunt Dorothy's cabin and the little cabin with Anna standing in front

Unfortunately, Randy took a bad fall the other day and broke his back. He was scheduled for surgery this morning and Glenna needed to be there for him when he woke up. She is an amazing, unconditional caretaker. I hope Randy knows that-he probably does.The surgery was to put a screw through the C1 and C2 vertebrae to stabilize them and bring him some relief from the unending pain. I have sent a couple of texts to her but I know she is too busy to reply. That's OK. Just hoping all went well.
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Getting grandma and grandpa home from CA...oh my, what a quandary I am in.



Mom in Palm Desert 2009

Daddy in Palm Desert 2010

James wants him and Tess to do this. John wants him and Tess to do this. I want to do this. Why? Not sure for sure, but have some ideas. It feels good to do something that contributes to the greater needs of the family...I really did honestly and truly enjoy the 2 days in the car with papa-it was one of the most relaxing, enjoyable, peaceful times I've had in 4 months...I think daddy will really be uncomfortable with them doing that and mom will really be uncomfortable with this unmarried couple spending nights together...and I know there is more to this but I'm not really sure what it is. I'll have to try to figure it out in another post. Adding to my quandary is Rich Marth day is scheduled for the weekend following the drive home from CA and that sort of time away from the office is tough on papa. That alone should make me figure out another way to get the zoom zoom home. So again, what more is there to my desire to do this?
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Hard to let go

Have you ever noticed how it is hard to let go of things; even things that aren't good for you? It could be anything from an outfit that doesn't make you look your best but you love how it feels, to a favorite beer that tastes the best a bit too often or even a recurring thought.

For example, why have I not heard back from my peoples about the flash drive? I'll try not to think about it today - to just let it go. And I won't check my email 17 times before noon - like I did yesterday.

The phrase below just cracks me up. It is sooooo what my workplace was like. Which brings me back to wondering why I care if I hear from my peeps? I guess I'm a gluten for punishment...or eager to ease the strain on finances?

Lots of Changes

It has been 4 months to the day since James' accident.

James and Tess

There have been changes for all of us since then. I know James has feelings of guilt over some of the challenges his family has faced; but those are horribly misplaced feelings. Life will always throw changes and challenges our way. How we deal with them individually is on us. I doubt I'll ever be able to convince him of that. But I won't stop trying. Each of us has been effected in some way due to the accident; and each of us have our own life changes to deal with.  

Exactly 4 months after the accident. Looking a bit purple and gnarly but damn awesome!

Shannon moved to Palm Desert while James was still in the hospital. Leaving tore her up. Getting settled took some adjustment, planning and patience. Things are more steady and secure now. She is living in a high-end gated community with a very nice couple, a fun-loving dog named Kona and a mean cat. Her space is a lovely, very livable and affordable casita. She is also spending lots of time with Aunt Jody and Grandma and Grandpa; which everyone is enjoying tremendously (especially me!).  

Shannon's Casita

She moved to the desert to start a satellite Foursquare church as the children's pastor. Going from the large, active, vibrant, deeply faith-filled community in Puyallup, that defined her faith and social life, to a struggling start up ministry has been difficult. Her faith took her there and her faith is supporting her day to day. I marvel and admire that about her. Until Desert Foursquare grows to the point of supporting her as a full time employee she has to have a part time job to help pay the bills. Her current part time job is less than satisfying - but a necessary evil. 

Shannon giving praise at the first Desert Foursquare service

I miss her a lot. Sort of silly because we didn't see that much of each other. I feel rather guilty about that actually. I was always too busy to make it down her way. I deeply regret that now. I quit a life-sucking job so I would have time to do more with my family and not regret even more absent years. Then along came this wonderful opportunity for her. I am thrilled for her and there is an important lesson in all this for me. One which I am trying hard to learn and make changes from.

This is what Christmas Caroling looks like in the desert :)

After James' accident Daniel became the family support man. If one of us needed to be somewhere but couldn't, Daniel took care of it. From errands for grandparents, shopping for me to physically packing Shannon's truck and moving all her junk to our garage - he did it (those are but 3 examples of the thousands of indispensable things he did, and continues to do, for us). 

Danman Extraordinaire

He was going to start taking classes at Green River Community College to get his AA degree but he really didn't want to. I knew that and I thought not going for an AA was a better idea. I thought finding an area of study that interests him (and can generate a lifelong income) was a better choice. With my blessing, he said he would look into local community colleges and technical colleges to find just that. He is currently signed up for video classes at Bellevue College; space allowing he will begin spring quarter. In the meantime, he is playing landlord to Shannon's condo and thoroughly enjoying his escapes to Snoqualmie as a snow bum.

Daniel is taking the pic on the ride to the top of the mountain

Papa is worried about money. Consequently mom is worried about money. Papa has been more papa than usual. I suspect that doesn't make sense to most people but since I am the only one reading this :) that is OK, I know what I'm trying to say. And that is all that needs to be said about him.

This photo represents soooooo much that was right, wrong, better and worrisome :/

And me...well I'm trying hard to navigate out of the self-created mosh pit of brain fog I created for myself. It was a huge leap in the right direction to finally finish the flash drive of marthk files and deliver them to Jim and Andrea. Accompaning the flash drive was a nice note featuring a sincere and heartfelt apology and a 'call me if you need to hire me for anything'. Haha like that is gonna happen after the way I've been these last few months; but a girls gotta try what a girls gotta try-right? Next step is to create order in the 4th bedroom. There is no moving forward without that. And I suspect the next step after that is to find some paid employment. I don't want to do that. Oh, I so don't want to do that. But if I must, of course I will. But did I mention I won't want to?

Transplanted Worry

Ever since James' accident I sort of obsess for other people I know in medical situations. Well, just 2 others so far but that is a good thing - means I don't know too many people in medical situations! It was never like this before James' accident. I had sympathy and true caring but not constant thoughts.

Margie and Bud were the first ones that were the object of my constant thoughts and worry. Now it is Dave and Terri. I'm sure Freud would have some tidbits of wisdom as to why. I just hope it fades back to normal caring levels soon.

Time for it to come to a close

Today I will finish transferring all the Kennedy files I can find to a flash drive. Tomorrow I will deliver (or mail) the drive. I believe that will complete our relationship. I am not pleased with how it is ending. I own all the reasons for my displeasure.

Could I have done something different to support a more positive outcome? Apparently not or I believe I would have. My desire was a long, good working relationship but I couldn't nurture (or even maintain) my half of the relationship. I do not fault them for being ready to wash their hands of me. They have been patient beyond measure.
Now I need to forgive myself for being unable to perform as they expected. I still do not totally understand why I became so dysfunctional for over 3 months. Maybe I never will and just need to move forward from this point.

This point has me feeling better. One hundred percent better? No but on the road to a more normal Kathleen.

Hair Result (how boring of a post is this!)

Like, yes. Love, no.

Pretty, pretty base color; great depth and warmth all at the same time. Not nearly enough highlights. Or maybe there are enough highlights but they aren't chunky like they usually are? I'm not sure which it is. But I do know that it is sort of blah without the usual bold and defined highlighted strands.

At least it's not grey :)

Hair

Today is haircut and color day. I'll post the results...if I like it.

The Birthday Girl

Margie, Glenna and I had a lovely lunch. Good food, excellent conversation and plenty of laughs as evidenced by the photographs below.

After the birthday lunch at Azteca we went back to Bud's rehab facility and visited for an hour or so. Bud was sitting up in a wheel chair and was quite the conversationalist. As our visit was coming to a close he was ready to lay down and take a nap. Margie explained he had been up and out of bed since 10:30 in the morning and that was a looooong time for him - she thought his nap might take him right through the night and into morning.

Kudos to me :) pics of the birthday bash. Shame on me :( no pics of Bud. Yes, fifty percent is better than zero percent but I was hoping for a hundred percent!

The Azteca staff arrives to wish Margie happy birthday ;)

The birthday girl is serenaded with Happy Birthday in Spanish :)

Figuring out how to take and send photos.

Surprise dessert compliments of Azteca!



Margie's BD Lunch

Tomorrow is Margie's birthday. It has been a long hard winter for her. Bud has been so sick with challenge after challenge rearing its ugly head for the two of them. Bud has been in the hospital or a rehab facility since November.

Glenna called with the idea of taking Margie to lunch and then going back to visit Bud. We've picked Azteca; it has tasty food and it's located close to Bud's rehab facility (plus they sing happy birthday to you in Spanish!). Hmmmm need to go shopping in my gift box to find a little something special for Margie and Bud.

Note to self: don't forget to take pictures of lunch and Bud and post them back here on your blog!

Fair Weather Fan

That's me. Fair weather fan. I'm not proud of it but I have come to accept it.

I am sitting here watching the Seattle Seahawks vs. Chicago Bears playoff game. I'm not enjoying it. The Seahawks look horrible. I am embarrassed for them; it's like they didn't bother to show up. It is all Bears. With 8:41 left in the 2nd quarter the Hawks trail by 21. Not fun.



I am not sitting here because I am a sports fan (nothing could be further from the truth). I am doing this mostly to "be" with hubby so he doesn't spend a whole day alone again. Yesterday he watched football all by himself in the family room while I spent the whole day at my computer in the dining room. I enjoyed my day. A lot. In all honesty I think he did too. It's not like we were really "alone" as the rooms are only 20 feet apart :)

Nice. Need to do more often!

I had a very nice visit with my sister at my house last week. We sat at the kitchen table for 6 hours (!) talking, drinking coffee, telling stories, eating pizza, solving the world problems, drinking more coffee and just generally enjoying each other's company.

Aren't we cute! This pic is from a 2010 Nov trip to Molbak's with Jocelyn and Aunt B.

We setup a game of Rummikub (a long-time favorite game of ours to play together). Each of us drew some tiles but we got distracted by our talking and when it came time for her to leave we cleaned up the game without ever having laid a tile down!

Daniel walked through the kitchen once with a quick hello and then back to his bedroom with a snack. James walked through once with a quick hello and then out the door to his dentist appointment. The dogs went in and out, in and out, in and out and then can you guess what they did? Yup, they went in and out again ;) We had lots of time just for ourselves; that is rare.

We are making a date for next week to go fireplace shopping. One of the many subjects we covered during our 6 hour conversation was getting the fireplaces and electric taken care of at the beach before mom and daddy return - if we don't put the dates in ink on our calendars time will fly by, mom and daddy will return and we will have accomplished nada. That would be a bad thing. Very bad indeed.

At first glance this looks like an inviting fire in a cozy room...look again :)

I have to remember to take pictures of our road trip to the fireplace store. I should have taken a pic of her sitting at my kitchen table. Remember Kathleen, that is what you said you wanted to do in 2011. Creating new habits is hard!

IF ONLY never seems to end

I remember a shrink describing my ex as an if only man. "If only I had a house with a garage and white picket fence I would stay home more often". So we got a house with a garage and white picket fence. He didn't stay home more often.

All of us have a bit of if only in us. It is human nature. "If only I didn't have to go to work every day I could deep clean our walk in closet". Six months after my last day at work the closet in question is still a jumble of clothes, shoes, suitcases, boxes, pictures, furniture, buckets and more. In other words, pure chaos. In my defense it is organized chaos; I can locate anything as long as I have enough time to muddle through the mess :).

The trick to battling the if only syndrome is to have a bit of just do it in you as well. That is why I have written in ink on my calendar: clean and organize closet. Oh, okay, it's not written in ink. It is actually written in Calibri 11 font on my Outlook calendar - but that phrase doesn't bring the point home like written in ink. Wouldn't you agree?

The goal is to give away every item that is not in use (time to admit those skinny jeans will never ever be worn again-by either of us) and every item that shouldn't be in use (like the 3 drundel skirts that make me look 6 inches shorter and 16 pounds wider or the horizontal stripe shirts that add visually unwanted inches to John's, ahem, midsection).

Once the multitude of unneeded and unwanted items are gone there will be plenty of room for the dresser and desk to move back in...thus leaving me a grown up bedroom rather than a storage room with wall-to-wall furniture. That makes me smile :)

Wish I had. Hope I do.

In the last few months I wish I had taken more pictures of meaningful events. Meaningful doesn't have to be life-changing. Meaningful includes the first snow fall, dogs sleeping side-by-side with 8 legs poking straight up in the air, papa on the roof taking down the Christmas lights (and not enjoying one minute of it) or a pit-stop along the way during our California road trip.

In the last few months I wish I had done more journaling. I wish I had captured my feelings of the Christmas season while they were fresh and poignant (although maybe not - as they were not particularly Christmassy feelings). I wish I had captured the nuances of navigating James' recovery; the transition for him between patient and self-caretaker; the challenge for me of going from caretaker to observer. I wish I had blogged through the early days of 'retirement'. I would like to re-read and re-feel the complete and utter relief of leaving all that heartache behind.

My life is the sum total of the choices I make. I wish I had something to show me how my life got to today besides my very poor memory :/ When 2011 comes to a close, I hope I do. Because after all, isn't that what a blog is for?

Meaningful moment: my sister loves me. My evidence? My birthday present that included (among other wonderful things) these cozy socks and that snugly Christmas blanket she made for me.

Nine days into 2011

We are nine days into the new year. I feel more clarity of purpose and worthwhileness (is that a word?) than I did nine days into October or nine days into November or heaven help me, the lowest of low points...nine days into December.

December was the month of cobwebs in the brain. I felt like their sticky tendrils had a choke hold on my ability to accomplish anything from getting up at a reasonable hour to sleeping through the night and every possible action or feeling that occurred in between. Tears were constantly waiting to spill over unless I kept my mind numb. Playing hearts on my favorite phone was an excellent escape; as were earphones plugged into the music on my favorite phone. Who knew a smart phone could be such a useful (and cost effective) mental health consultant.

Meet my best friend Mr. Droid

Why was I not coping well? Was it a delayed reaction to James' accident; supreme panic as he appeared to be spiraling into a funk and pulling away from me; overwhelming guilt over not being a contributing member to the family finances (not earning a dollar, spending a dollar too much, no idea on how to create a realistic budget that was requested); or was it menopause finally settling in for the one-two punch? Flashing was a daily occurrence as was chest pain (reminiscent of my spring panic attacks). My family needed me focused, strong and effective. So why at this stage in my life was I becoming a basket case? Maybe I'll never know. I do know I did my darnedest to fool them into believing I was a dependable, contributing member of the family unit. I would like to believe I did okay with this ruse. I suspect the truth is a wee bit different :/

I do know I am grateful for the shreds of clarity I am feeling nine days into 2011. I am pleased with the minor things I managed to accomplish this week. I am particularly fond of having more control over the water-works. I am hopeful I will continue to find my way back to a strong, focused, funny, engaging, helpful, positive person.

She is still in there somewhere. Isn't she? Yes, she is. So, here's to 2011 and clarity of mind and purpose! May the new year bring you your fondest dreams as well.

Accomplishments Feel Good

Johnny was in Florida with his brothers Rich, Bob, Steve and Brian for a long weekend. I am glad he is home safe and sound but I must say, his absence sure jump started my butt-dragging ways as of late. I had all his weekend chores and my weekend chores to accomplish so playing hearts on my cell phone all weekend was not an option. It felt good Sunday night to look around at the raked gardens, trimmed trees, empty laundry baskets and filled garbage, recycle and yard waste cans. Everything was in order. And you know me-I like everything in its place and a place for everything.

Thoughtless or Need for Independence?

It has been a life-long rule that anyone who lives under this roof be courteous enough to inform other people that live under this roof if they are not coming home. This isn't a 'big brother watching you' punitive rule. Actually it isn't even really a rule - more of an expectation that you treat loved ones with consideration.

The purpose of this expectation is not to pry into the lives of loved ones (unless your under 18 then I must confess, that is the purpose). The purpose is to keep the people lying awake waiting for you from worrying and allowing them to get a good night sleep knowing you are OK. Simple text. Quick voicemail. That's all it takes. Hey, you two...really?

Purpose and Meaning

In this family we are all trying to find purpose and meaning in our daily lives. Two have succeeded. One is in California and the other in Florida. Maybe that's what the rest of us need to do to succeed...travel to another state!

Shannon's Housesitting House in Palm Desert, CA

Hmmmm

I deeply enjoy viewing photos of family, friends and favorite events. I get a kick out of re-reading posts, emails and notes sent to me or written by me. I want to capture the process of navigating through the coming months as a newly retired worker (interested in a few side jobs).

I thought this blog would be the perfect place to chronicle the things in my life that are important. I saw it as a spectacular journaling tool. That has not been the case.

Pre-retirement I was always on the computer so I expected journaling via the computer would be a good fit. Post-retirement I don't want to be on the computer and thinking about putting together clever conversation with accompanying pictures just seems like so much work. Playing hearts on my phone is undeniably easier. This mindless activity does an excellent job of numbing the mind. I suspect that is the definition of a 'mindless activity' but don't quote me on that one.

When A Moment Changes Everything

At some point toward the beginning of this roller coaster ride I thought I should document the course of events on this blog. But two things got in the way: I am still learning my way around this site and although it is relatively pain-free it does take me some time to navigate...oddly time is not a commodity I have a lot of (more on that another time) and my role in this adventure is to keep everyone updated and informed...since no one knows about this blog it wouldn't be a very effective tool for communicating with family and friends :)

That said, I would still like to capture the story here. I think the easiest way is to use the updates I have been emailing to family. Why re-invent the wheel? At some point I will add all the stories that are missing but this is a good starting point.

Please be forewarned, there will be bloody graphic pictures included in this post. Do not scroll down if you try to avoid these kind of pictures!



Friday | September 24, 2010 | 4:15 PM

Hard to believe just over 24 hours ago James was on a job site cleaning up for the day and now sits it the orthopedic trauma unit of the best hospital in Seattle. A lot happened in between. But the 2 most important things are skilled surgeons worked into the wee hours of the morning giving James the best chance they could at recovery and hundreds of people across the country were offering up prayers each and every hour. The power of God is phenomenal. The power of man in the hands of God brings awe and wonder.

Sept 23 | 4:00 PM. Just about to roll James into the operating room

The 24 hours after surgery are crucial (I sound like a medical TV show!) as it is the most likely time for infection and rejection can set in. He can’t eat or drink anything until tomorrow – not even water or ice chips - in case they have to cart him back into surgery and knock him out in a flash. The lack of water is probably the most uncomfortable thing he is experiencing right now (thanks to the morphine drip keeping the mind numb and pain at bay).

Just arrived in his room after leaving the recovery room

They want the blood to flow into his newly attached arteries, veins, nerves ligaments and tissue so they have him on blood thinners. To help thin the blood they have the heat turned up high. Now when I say high, I don’t mean a comfortable 72 degrees. When we arrived in the room it was 85’. When I left to catch a couple hours of sleep it was 90.5’ and climbing! He will be in the Tropicana Suite (seriously, that is the sign on the door!) for 5 days. Those of you who know what a heat wimp I am know that only a mother’s love is going to get me through the next 5 days :) He is on complete bed rest for the next 3.

The bleeding he is doing is good but it is also a balancing act so they have to draw blood every 6 hours to check the levels of this and that and another thing. If this, that or the other thing get too low they will give him a transfusion. Medicine is amazing. Simply amazing.

Immediately post op - before the drip, drip, dripping began

Emotions get the better of him now and then; a lot of that is more than 12 hours of anesthesia – it does weird things to the brain :/ but for the most part his spirits are high and he is mr-funny-man keeping the nurses and doctors laughing. From the ER staff to the surgical staff we kept hearing what a great guy he is. That he is!

The surgeon described the painstaking task of connecting everything back together and even she was amazed at the stellar results. So far things are going better than they hoped for. The color in all of his digits is good and that is the most excellent news.

All of us can’t thank you enough for your love and prayers. The difference they make is extraordinary. As good as everything is going, we aren’t quite out of the woods so please keep them coming. Back to the hospital – nap time is over!

xoxoxo Kathleen



Sunday | September 26, 2010 | 12:00 AM

Day 2 has been put to bed. James woke up in good spirits, kept us hoping throughout the day and went to sleep exhausted but comfortable.

James on day 2

The surgeons were here this morning to change the dressing and examine their handiwork. James was his usual chatty entertaining self and had us all laughing. They were pleased with the look of the hand, the color of the digits and the results of the blood work (no infection indicated, no transfusion just yet and heparin drip adjusted perfectly). They said he maneuvered through the first 24 hours as best as they could hope for and although we are not out of the woods for something going wrong, getting to this point was a huge accomplishment.

Still draining but look at those gorgeous fingers; the color just gets better and better!

They weren’t as wild about his temp climbing to 105 during the night. But, they weren’t agitated either. Apparently some people’s bodies can react with a great big “WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?” and decide to attack the situation with a rising temperature. It came back down to hover between 102 and 104 - doable.

However, when his temp climbed to 107.6 by early afternoon (that is not a typo!) they became concerned. Mom (that would be me) however passed right by concerned and moved onto near panic. Our day nurse Joel was awesome and jumped right on it moving at lightning speed. He got the surgeon back down here and they came up with a game plan. Unfortunately, James could not be cooled in the usual way with ice or cold compresses. When you do that all the blood flows away from the extremities and rushes to the core…and that would mean certain death for all of the repaired veins, arteries, nerves and tissue in his hand. It is the thin blood flowing freely to his hand and digits that is feeding the hundreds of newly formed connections back to life. They cooled the room to 80 degrees (can anyone reading this believe Kathleen used the word cool and 80 degrees in the same sentence?). They put light ice packs in his left armpit and groin and increased the Tylenol regimen (apparently Tylenol really is the drug of choice by 9 out of 10 doctors for lowering a fever – who knew?). Slowly but surely it climbed down (at the time of this writing the Tropicana Suite is back to its sauna-like temp of 88 degrees, all ice packs are gone, incoherent ramblings and hallucinations are abating and his temp is 101.1 and descending; I can live with that).

Mr. Positive trying to let everyone know he's OK

In less crucial but import news…his main IV line went bad today (he has 3 lines) so he had to have a new one put in. This was the best thing that happened all day long - really! The IV was located in the nice big fat juicy vein in the crook of his left arm and James couldn’t bend his arm without impeding the flow of the fluid and setting off the alarm on the IV machine. Consequently, he had to have his left arm outstretched and in one position all the time…and his right arm outstretched and immobilized…which left him with no arms to drink, eat, scratch, stretch or get comfortable with. As most of us know, a James that can move, wiggle and flail is a happy James :) His quality of life increased 10-fold with that one change.

Looking forward to day 3…as it is always an adventure in the Tropicana Suite! We feel all of your prayers, love and well-wishes. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts!

-Kathleen

PS – I have received texts and emails from all of you today but it was such a busy day I just couldn’t get back to everyone…and now I’m tired (go figure!) but wanted to let you know how very much we appreciate your connections. Keep them coming! I thought a group email before bed might be the best way to respond to everyone. BTW…we have the best families in the world :)



Monday | September 27, 2010 | 9:57 AM

Sunday was day 3. Surgeons made their morning rounds and once again said they are pleased with the progress. The color of the digits remains constant and the drainage of blood through the wound and into the dressing (and the bed, and his pj’s and the pillow…) is slowing just as it should be, but not stopping which would be bad.

Below are a series of pictures from a dressing change.

Time for a dressing change

Joel cutting off the gauze

Only one thin layer of protective dressing left on

Wolverine...for at least another 6 weeks :)

That is an actual hole cut into the tip of his thumb to help pull blood thru and out of the digit easily. Really.

The stitching is a work of art to behold.



All cleaned up for now!


The best way to describe day 3 is it was like that time in your sleep cycle when you are tossing and turning – not quite asleep, not quite awake - and your mind is churning and twirling and you aren’t getting anywhere – and when you open your eyes you are exhausted and confused and for a brief moment you aren’t quite sure where you are or what day it is. Yup, that is a good description of day 3.

Trying to stop scratching (and not open new wounds in his skin) and trying to keep food down were the big jobs of the day. Can’t say we scored bit points in either category but hey, he tried :/ Some broth at dinnertime and a bit more before bed finally stayed down. Regular doses of Benadryl kept the scratching to a minimum – but it also kept the entertaining waking babble to a maximum…for example did you know he’s not Mel Gibson? Well, apparently he’s not. He told Shannon to save herself because he wasn’t Mel Gibson and he had been bit :) Every time he says something that cracks us up we wish we had a tape recorder – or better yet – a video recorder. He would get a kick out of watching the reruns.

James girlfriend Tess babysat him for a few hours in the afternoon while we all went to my mom and dad’s for Shannon’s going away party (which of course had been planned before this latest Marth adventure started). A party sounded hard to attend. Even Shannon wasn’t much interested. But mom (being the wise woman that she is) said we had to eat sometime so why not do it at her house? Getting out of the hospital was good for the mind – seeing family celebrate Shannon was good for the soul. It was the last time she was going to see her family for a while because she leaves this Thursday for her new home in Palm Desert, California. Even typing those words puts a lump in my throat. I see a lot of Kleenex in my future this week…might be a good time to buy stock in Kimberly-Clark :}

James is still whiling away the hours confined to bed in the Tropicana Suite. I must say, the smell of a 15x15 foot room with no open windows, no fans and hot air constantly blowing through the vents to maintain an 85+ degree temperature for 3 days is quite a unique smell – not one I would recommend bottling and trying to sell - unless your market is street people living under the bridge. Yikes, it is ripe in here. He is looking forward to bath day…we are looking forward to his bath day. Soon, I hope!

Today is day 4…wonder what’s in store?

Love you all. Love the texts and emails. Love the prayers and well wishes. Love all you do - thank you!
-Kathleen



Tuesday | September 28, 2010 | 7:03 PM

Yesterday was day four at Harbor View Hospital. It reminded me of a spring day in Seattle. One minute you need an umbrella and a short while later you’re looking for your sunglasses.

Dressing changes are exhausting. The splint his hand rests on is in the left foreground of photo.

Throughout the day he vacillated between nauseated to eating; sleeping to wide awake; rambling gibberish to thoughtful conversation; insane itching to peaceful resting; cranky to good spirits. He’d anticipated getting off bed rest but surgeons decided at least one more day would be a good idea – along with at least another day in the Tropicana Suite. That pushes the going home date out to Friday at the earliest. His hand was more uncomfortable than previous days but I think that has a lot to do with transitioning to oral pain medication instead of the IV morphine drip. They are trying to find the right dosage to stay ahead of the pain…I like that plan!

They brought us copies of his pre-op x-ray’s and a copy of the operative report. Oh my. Although some words in the report felt like we were reading a foreign language, it was apparent nothing short of a miracle took place on that operating table. Our gratitude was raised to a whole new level for the skilled surgeons and the outpouring of prayers from family and friends.

It is now day five and approaching dinner time. Unfortunately our patient won’t be partaking…again. Much to his complete and absolute frustration nothing will stay down…still. Doc just stopped in. He has a plan.

On the up side he received his first bed bath with soap and water and then got to sit up in a nice big comfy chair – ahhhh, you could take one look at him and see how good those two things felt. But the pièce de résistance was getting his catheter out and his Sponge Bob Square Pants boxers on – he even made me take a picture of him looking like a million bucks sitting up in his own shorts (I have attached it for your viewing pleasure).

Sponge Square Bob Pants. Yes, I did say that - not once, but twice - I claim sleep deprivation :)

Tomorrow the surgical team comes to change his dressing and assess their work and his progress. By the end of the day they hope to be able to present a game plan for the coming weeks…as long as it includes turning down this blasted heat I can handle anything they throw at us!

Love to all!



Thursday | September 30, 2010 | 9:46

Side note of great importance: today marked the moment that my first born departed on her adventure to California. My heart is leaking buckets of tears but it is equally excited for the excellent choice Shannon has made in this move. I wish her joy, success, purpose, meaning and of course sunshine in her life! More to be posted on her adventure later.

Yesterday was day 6 in the hospital for James. Before this story is over it must be said that the staff at Harborview bring a whole new meaning to excellent patient care. What the hospital lacks in modern electronics, wall murals and stylish furnishings is more than made up for in the area that really matters – excellence in patient care.

Our "bedroom". He tried to throw pillows at me to stop the snoring. The nurse offered him ear plugs hahaha. Sort of reminds me of the beach...without the water, the dock, the kitchen and oh ya, the fun.

There is only one lone dark cloud hanging over James right now – nothing is staying down :( The nausea, cold sweats, dizziness and accompanying fatigue have him feeling the absolute worse he has felt since arriving at the hospital (according to him). These feelings come in waves. He can feel on top of the world for a few hours – laughing, joking, texting, talking and conversing. After crackers, soup and juice he can then feel like he just came out on the losing end of a kick boxing match. The doctor’s last plan didn’t work. They are working on a new one. I’m hoping today sees this problem in its rear view mirror.

A team of surgeons were here after lunch yesterday to get up close and personal with the hand. They liked what they saw and walked over to the thermostat and turned it down to 70 degrees ahhhhhhhh we could feel the cool air moving through the room immediately. That deserves another ahhhhhhhh. As a side note: within an hour James was looking for a blanket and I was hoping I had a sweatshirt in my bag. That cracked us both up.

The doctor who worked on reconnecting his nerves was quite a character and kept us chuckling. James commented on sensations located in the wrong place and she told him that was all on him – not her. Instead of coming to her with nerves neatly lined up and cleanly cut, he arrived with a bowl of spaghetti and she made her best guess as to which two ends belonged together; some she probably got right, some she probably didn’t but no matter as they will relearn their new pathways. We are finding that nerves are one of the most amazing things in the human body.

If they can get him to keep food down, we are going home on Friday – woo hoo! He will spend a week doing absolutely nothing with his hand. He is to protect it from bumps and bangs at all times. I will change the dressing twice a day and otherwise it will remain on its molded splint immobile and protected from the world around it. His job is to get up on his feet, his body moving, eating healthy and ready to tackle whatever they throw at us next. We go back to the hospital the following Friday for the lead surgeon to assess the healing progress and give us our next set of marching orders. We forgot to ask when he could get in a bath or shower but we did remember to ask if he could go to a Jim Gaffigan comedy concert next Friday – priorities baby, priorities! Two of the three surgeons laughed and began tossing Jim Gaffigan one-liners out. James joined in. The third surgeon shook his head and declared them all nut cases. But, he was given the OK to go as long as we wrap it extra well and slip it in a sling. I think their love of Gaffigan tipped the scales in James’ favor :)

Bring on day 7. We are ready.
-Kathleen


Tuesday | October 5, 2010 | 12:54 AM

Friday, October 1 marked day 9 in the hospital and the end of this chapter in James’ story. We were discharged from the trauma unit at 7:30 p.m. My most excellent chauffer (aka Daniel) had us home by 9:00.

My sincere apologies for the delay in my text, email and internet communication. I am THRILLED to be home but I haven’t had a minute to call my own…and when I do, I find myself trying to catch up on sleep – is it possible to catch up ‘cuz it’s not feeling like it so far :) Daniel and John are beyond amazing in doing anything they can to lighten the load; awesomeness is their middle name! Everything is good, just time consuming.

Thursday evening they finally found the right combo of anti-nausea medication to help James keep his food down. He still felt a bit queasy but he knew eating was a prerequisite for going home; consequently lots of motivation to fight through. That evening I received my nancy-nurse lesson and learned how to change the dressing, wash the wound and care for someone who was not allowed to us his right hand for ANYTHING. My teacher said I passed with flying colors. I was highly motivated too :)

Friday morning the surgical team came in for their daily check. This time Dr. Allen (the head honcho) came too. It was our first time meeting the man rumored to be the best of the best in the Pacific Northwest. Once again we heard how stunned they all are that James still has his hand. Apparently no one, including the head honcho himself believed the reattachment of his hand would be as successful as it is to date. Dr. Allen explained that his assistant Dr. Kate Colman was responsible for saving the day. Dr. Allen had run out of ideas after so many hours of surgery but Dr. Kate had an idea. He told he to take the lead and the rest is history. I now understand why he is considered the best of the best; he surrounds himself with excellence and makes great decisions that have everything to do with the patient and nothing to do with ego.

Dr. Allen went on to explain he has seen very few reattachments of this magnitude succeed and it is most impressive that a week later the hand is still doing well. He said there are plenty of things to go wrong still but getting thru a full week is a major accomplishment. He gave us the OK to go home and left James with strict instructions to do nothing, absolutely nothing with his hand other than what OT teaches him (a therapist was due soon). A short while later Dr. Allen popped his head in and said we might stay another day or two (groan). There was a new machine that could passively move James’ fingers and Dr. Allen wanted to take a look at it. He hadn’t used this particular machine before and wanted to see if it would be a good fit for James’ injury. As it turned out, it wasn’t a good fit. We were glad going home was back on the agenda even if we were a bit disappointed the new-fangled machine wouldn’t be helpful.

Melanie from OT came in to teach James how to use his left hand to passively move the fingers on his right hand (same thing the machine would have done only safer this way). She did a good job of explaining the importance of this for his reattached tendons and ligaments – he was motivated by the end of her lesson. She went on to explain he didn’t need to bother doing this with his thumb as they did not reattach the tendon; doing that would have interfered with reattaching the veins and nerves so after everything is healed, they will go back in to reattach the tendon (or was it a ligament (?) ah, it all starts to blur together but thankfully, they know what it is!).

Melanie also clarified that his ability for fine motor movement will not return. A main component that contributes to fine motor movement was damaged beyond repair. He won’t be able to thread a needle (darn, there goes his career as a world renowned seamstress) and buttons might be problematic (no worries, that is why God invented zippers and velcro) but due to the wonders of the brain, his left hand will eventually become his dominant hand. His essential tremor is most pronounced in his left hand so we expect some messy meals between now and left-hand dominance but God’s got a plan for that too – wash cloths, soap and water :)

A lot of physical and occupational therapy, at least one more surgery, skilled medical care and diligent consistent efforts on James’ part will take us down the road to a happy ending; maybe a different ending than James had planned 9 days ago but a good ending all the same…’cuz he’s James - and James has always made lemonade out of the lemons life throws his way!

THANK YOU a thousand times over for your unending prayers, spectacular support and constant connections. They have been the life-blood that our family needed to traverse this challenge. Each and every phone call, text message, Facebook comment and email brought us comfort, smiles and strength. Our family ROCKS!

Love you all!
-Kathleen

PS – Shannon Update: she left Washington late Thursday afternoon to drive to her new home and job in Palm Desert, California. She arrived safe and sound on Saturday and all is going well as she settles in. Her mother cried buckets of tears over her departure while rejoicing over her golden opportunity to live out a dream. I miss her terribly and every moment of every day I am excited for all the possibilities ahead of her.

PPS – Daniel Update: calm, cool and collected. My chauffer and right hand man at a moment’s notice. He remembers being the patient and needing to heal; he provides perspective when I need it. I am extraordinarily grateful for my man, Dan.

PPPS - As I navigate through these last couple of (emotional!) weeks I am reminded of something my mom gave me years ago; it still hangs on my wall (and one of my favorite brother-in-laws sent it to me in a note of encouragement). I suspect many of you have this in your homes too: There are two things we give our children; one is roots, the other is wings. Thank you mom, for giving me a path to follow. Those lessons guide us through weeks such as these.

PPPPS – OK, I’m done waxing philosophical. Must be time for some of that sleep I mentioned needing :) Huuuuugs to all!

Home from Marthapalooza

That was a fast 5 days. It was very different than other trips to Chicago. Was it the rain, no kids, missing out-laws, travel days, party location or a combination of it all? Do not misunderstand me. It was a good trip. One I am very glad I made.

This trip did not include a wild and crazy over-the-top laugh until your side hurts memory. You know the kind of memory I'm talking about: events, actions, activities, doings or sayings that you relive and laugh at together for years to come. The kind of memory that inevitably creates an inside joke or two. The kind of memory you hope you get a picture of but you hope no one posts it on Facebook :) Wild and crazy times usually accompany a trip to Chicago. It is one of the things I most look forward too (probably because Horrigan's are fun, but not crazy-fun like the goofy Marth clan).

The rain and cold evening may have changed the party dynamics but one thing that didn't change is the presentation of a bobblehead to the Marth sibling that most recently turned 50. This night it was Mike's turn (aka Moon). Bob started this tradition 2 years ago when Rich was the first to pass the 50 year-old mark. It was Marthapalooza 2008 when Lil' Rich was born. A year later Bob had Lil' Horse made for John when he turned 50. Now it was time for Lil' Moon to come into this world. I absolutely love this tradition.

L to R | Lil' Rich, Lil' Moon



Lil' Horse

See what I mean about crazy fun? I don't know how Bob ever thought to get this tradition going but I'm glad he did. Although Donna and Mary (the next to turn 50) are insisting it is time for the tradition to take a few years off. I'm not thinking that is going to happen. No, not much chance of that at all.

Severe weather in Chicago delayed our flight so we didn't get home until 1 a.m. Wednesday morning. But after everyone was in bed and my doggies and I were snuggling on the floor watching Warehouse 13 (gotta love OnDemand) I had a chance to reflect a bit on the trip. It was a trip about time together visiting, sharing and catching up. As I said it was a good trip. It was a great trip. It may happen more often as more of us pass that 50 year-old mark hahah!

Travel

Must I always pack at the last minute? I had a to-do list that I had hoped would keep me focused and on the schedule of my dreams...but dream was apparently the operative word. Oh well. Soon I will be in Chicago and this crazy, full, chaotic day will be yesterday ;)

You Would Think There was a Baby Coming!

It was a nesting day for me. I did not realize it until I sat down to read some email and check out what is on TV tonight.

All bathroom cupboards, drawers and closets have been cleaned and organized. All kitchen drawers have been cleaned, repaired and organized. Tupperware has been sorted so that each container has one matching top. I recycled about 15 tops with no bottoms and half a dozen bottoms with no tops. How does that happen? Every dish in the house is clean. Every piece of dirty laundry in the house is washed, dried and hung up (well, except James' but that's a story for a different day).

Maybe it was because of the dark drizzly day.

Maybe it was because I am avoiding two tasks that I've started, need to be completed but I'm dragging my feet on. Why is that? They involve organizing, strategizing and problem solving. I am generally very good at those three things. I always enjoy the feelings of satisfaction after a job well done.

So I ask again, why don't I just do it? Do other people fill their time with useless tasks (or for that matter, even needed tasks) when they are avoiding undesirable tasks? I always have. When I discover myself doing that, I know I need to dig in and get 'er done. But now it will have to wait until my return from Chicago. Foolish me for it will weigh on me a bit while I'm gone - not unbearably, but a bit. Like it or not, that's just how I roll :)

Hmmm, 3 well known marketing phrases in that last paragraph. I may need to take a class to brush up on my language skills if I'm going to keep writing this blog...and ever want to re-read it again.

Time

Time has value. But it isn't always a monetary value. There is measurable value in time well spent, time accomplishing good deeds and time with family and friends.

When I am spending my time doing work for Kennedy I am paid by the hour. That has great value to me. However, when I sit at Kennedy waiting for over an hour for an online meeting to start (as I did on Monday) I do not feel the time has value, even though I am still being paid. I would prefer to be at home completing the tasks I have deemed important and valuable for my family and me - even though I would not be paid for my time.

This is a concept James tries to explain to John. When James is on a job that has him humping all day he enjoys the work. When he is on a job that requires lots of standing and waiting he does not enjoy the job in the least. John responds with, "Quit complaining. You are making $40 an hour standing or moving and it is better than sitting in your room playing video games and not getting paid." James knows that; just like I know that. But the point is it still feels like wasted time.

Someday I will come back to this post and try to explain it better. But I wanted to get it down on paper (is a blog, paper?) while the thought was fresh in my head.

Random Thoughts Tonight

Cooking. I keep trying new recipes. I follow them as directed. At the time I am thinking it would be better with this or that change. I don't really like any recipe I try. I like what I create out of my head much better. I am going to get online and explore blending ingredients, cooking techniques and teach myself to confidently create my own recipes. Tonight the bbq'd pork was way less than satisfying. Oh yes, and no more Trader Joe's asparagus. I usually love TJ's food...asparagus has been consistently bad.

Dogs. The 2 yappy obnoxious schnauzers behind us are getting worse instead of better. Kally and Toby. Kally has a high pitched non-stop bark that irritates the heck out of me. Amazingly my dogs are quiet if I tell them to be. Toby is much like Ringo (God 't rest his soul). He drives Dakota and Lenny absolutely positively nuts. I think it is the male to male thing. He doesn't bark much but when he does, they come unglued and don't listen to a thing I say.

Dakota (Husky-Shepard mix) & Lenny (Flat Coated Retriever-Shepard mix)

Dogs continued. Sophie and David next to us love to entertain. When they have guests over they leave Ginger outside. Ginger is a golden retriever that is a people and house dog...she does not like to be left outside. She barks and barks to get in and it always breaks my heart because she sounds so sad. However, tonight their guests came with a dog of their own. The two of them have been left outside. The two of them want to go inside. The two of them won't stop barking to get inside. I am weary of it all.

Movies. We just watched 300. Although the story is pretty amazing the movie was way too much for me to handle.It is always hard to find something everyone likes.

Good night :/

So Many Projects. So Indecisive.

There are closets and cupboards and drawers that need cleaning. There are clothes that need to be sorted through and given away. There is laundry, meal planning, shopping and dishes. There are thousands of pictures that still need to be sorted (this is what I've done so far http://kathleenmarthphotos.shutterfly.com/) There is a living room that needs rearranging, gutting, given a new use - something.

And then there is gardening that needs my attention. I have lots of plants from the beach still in their transplanting pots. If I don't get these plants into the ground soon I will loose them. Lenny has taken a particular liking to one bucket...I think he is drinking the rain water in the bottom - or maybe he is eating the bugs and grubs that are accumulating-blech! I am indecisive on this project because I can't decide where to plant them. The dogs trample the backyard gardens so built up planters are needed or temporary little fencing until the plants are big enough to hold their own. And then there is the ratty fence you see in the background. Planting along this fence line would look good and it would be easy to protect the plants from the dogs. But all backyard fences are being replaced soon - but "soon" doesn't have a date attached to it. Sometime this fall. Such a dilemma. Such a quandary.

This hydrangea is a cutting off a bush that was planted in the Beatte garden at Fragaria in the early 1900's. WOW.

Sitting on the rockery are plants from Suzanne Gard's garden at the beach - still in their transplanting pots and buckets.

There is my office space that needs creating. I am about halfway done with this project. Our 4th bedroom seemed large enough to accommodate space for guests and an office. This dual-use plan is proving a bit more challenging. To add to the woes of this project, I can't get a wireless Internet connection in the room...and it is not hard wired for Internet. Go figure! I see two solutions: continue to do my work on the kitchen table or purchase a new router or booster for our current router...

Wall to wall desks, shelves, beds and more.

Infamous orange counter on the left that has been with me for more than 10 years and two places of employment. I don't know how papa got it in here - but he did. Thanks papa!  Daniel's loft bed with lots and lots of unpacked boxes underneath; where the heck are they going to go? 

...and that now takes me to my next project. I need to complete a budget that allows us to comfortably live on one income. I am on a self-imposed spending freeze until I do. OK truth be told papa put me on a spending freeze but I agree with the plan so I figure that makes it self-imposed :)

Purchasing needs are starting to pile up: carpets cleaned, some carpets replaced, furniture recovered, pictures framed, furniture replaced, vet appointments and deep-grooming for the dogs, manicure & pedicure for me (I consider this a need!), duct work cleaned, routers and/or boosters purchased, planters built and/or purchased, fence contractors hired, and oh so much more.

OK. I now know where to start. Budget project here I come.